Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.
  • If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.
  • Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
  • I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”
  • The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.
  • Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?