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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Spotted on TikTok:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Making waves on Messenger:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Seen just now on Discord:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Going viral on Slack:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Going viral on Slack:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Just landed via X:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Trending via YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Just landed via YouTube:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

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