Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

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Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I think God was high when he made me.

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Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

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If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.