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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Shared recently on X:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Just landed via Facebook:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Spotted on Slack:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Live now on Telegram:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?
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Commentary:
Me trying to get out of bed is like a sloth attempting a sprint 🛌🏃‍♂️💤

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Trending via X:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Reported on Facebook:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Spotted on TikTok:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Just shared via Reddit:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Just landed via Instagram:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Live now on Threads:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Reported on X:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

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