I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.