Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

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You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

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I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

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What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

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All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

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Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

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As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

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Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.