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They’re making me do work at work.

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I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

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The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

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It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

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Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

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Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

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We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

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Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

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She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

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Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

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Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

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Chin-diana Jones and the Temple of Mysterious Fillers! πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ’‰

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