Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.