Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.