Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

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Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

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Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

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One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

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Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

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Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

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I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

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This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

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The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

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I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

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I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.