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I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

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How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

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Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of lifeโ€™s greatest challenges.

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Donโ€™t check on your introverted friends this time of year. Theyโ€™re probably turning their lights off and pretending theyโ€™re not home.

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Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

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Everyone is gangster until theyโ€™re asked to reveal a โ€œfun factโ€ about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

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I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

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Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

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My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, Iโ€™m not a fan.

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Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

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When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Commentary:
Guess that pig was after some killer ham bargains! ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ˜†

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