Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

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What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

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I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

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I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

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Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

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I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

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Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

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Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.