I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

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According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

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There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

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Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

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Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

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Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

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I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

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If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

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My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

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Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

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Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”