Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

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You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

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If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

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Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

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Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

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It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

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Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

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Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

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As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.