The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.