Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

39 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Spotted on Discord:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Trending via WeChat:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

4 months ago

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of the sleepless souls: yearning for sweet slumber, but thwarted by the elusive sandman! 😴💤 Maybe sleep is just playing hard to get 🤔 or perhaps it's rebelling against our bedtime tyranny! 😆 Stay strong, weary wanderer, for the dreamland awaits you someday… hopefully! 🌙✨"

ever, humor, insomnia, sleep, struggle, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

39 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Freshly posted on Threads:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Spotted on Reddit:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Breaking via YouTube:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Trending via Facebook:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Shared recently on Discord:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴