Someone from has downloaded:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

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Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from has viewed:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

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I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

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You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

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I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

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The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

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My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

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Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

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Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.