Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?