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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Breaking via TikTok:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Spotted on YouTube:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Seen just now on Slack:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

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A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the bathrobe – the master of disguise, the sultan of comfort, and the enabler of sneaky snacking 🤫🛀🍪. It's the perfect way to pretend you're dressed while actually flaunting your true laziness levels! 😄 #NakedButNotReally #FashionDeception"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Freshly posted on Slack:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Just landed via Discord:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Just landed via Threads:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

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