Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Shared recently on X:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Seen just now on Telegram:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Spotted on X:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Trending via TikTok:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure thing! Would you like a side of skyscrapers with that as well? ☕🏙️😄"

coffee, humor, Manhattan, please, request, size

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The future is buffering.

0

2 months ago

buffering, future, humor, joke, procrastination, technology
The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, finance, humor, joke, loan, shark, specy
Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

0

2 months ago

comfort, expense, fortune, heating, humor, indoor, inside, irony, just, know, outdoor, outdoor heating, people, practicality, spend, temperature
Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

0

2 months ago

deserve, expectations, humor, i, mean, morning, proverb, sarcasm, sleep, time, waking, waking up, woke, worm
My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

0

2 months ago

always, bathroom, concert, hold, humor, i, long shower, performance, procrastination, routine, shower, showers, singing, take
Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

0

2 months ago

drama, drink, energy, energy drink, girl, humor, joke, me, relationship, tired, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

48 shares on Facebook this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Shared recently on Slack:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Just landed via X:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Spotted on Instagram:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The future is buffering.

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨