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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

16 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Just landed via Reddit:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Going viral on Telegram:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Shared recently on Threads:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Reported on X:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Just shared via Instagram:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Just landed via Messenger:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Seen just now on X:

I used to have a great future in my past.

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

6 months ago

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing the latest in fast food efficiency: the Drive-Thru Drone! Now you can scout out the quickest route to your burger bliss in record time 🍔🚗 Don't get stuck behind a slowpoke, soar above the queues with your trusty fast food navigator! #InnovationGoals"

convenience, drive-thru, drone, fast, fast food, food, humor, line, seeing, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

16 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Making waves on Telegram:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Live now on Facebook:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Spotted on Threads:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Spotted on Slack:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

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