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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Live now on Snapchat:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Just shared via Instagram:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Live now on Discord:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Spotted on Discord:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Trending via Twitch:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Breaking via YouTube:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Breaking via Reddit:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

2 months ago

0

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, the thought of a world where the Hoff and KITT are not part of young minds is downright scary 🤖🚗! Quick, someone activate the Turbo Boost on their nostalgia receptors! Time to introduce a whole new generation to the magical world of talking cars and feathered hair! 🌟 #BackToThe80s #KnightRiderForever

alive, culture, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, knight, Knight Rider, know, nostalgia, number, people, pop, pop culture, rider, show, technology, today, TV, TV Show, young, young people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

0

2 months ago

complaint, hours, humor, job, just, office, show, sometimes, stress, torture, work
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

0

2 months ago

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing
Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

0

2 months ago

activity, cooking, curse, curse word, frustration, funny activity, golf, great, humor, lab, learn, learning, new, sport, subconscious, word, words
Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, creativity, expression, humor, just, mean, podcast, talking
When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

0

2 months ago

back, confusion, directions, giving, humor, i, irony, just, lost, love, me, miscommunication, miss, navigation, someone, tell, travel, wrong
Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

0

2 months ago

activity, adulting, bed, being, different, excited, excitement, fun, fun activity, level, relaxation, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Breaking via Snapchat:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Just landed via Instagram:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Making waves on Reddit:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Going bananas on Reddit:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Making waves on Threads:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Seen just now on Messenger:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

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