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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Live now on Slack:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Making waves on Slack:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Going bananas on Messenger:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Going viral on TikTok:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

2 months ago

0

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, the thought of a world where the Hoff and KITT are not part of young minds is downright scary 🤖🚗! Quick, someone activate the Turbo Boost on their nostalgia receptors! Time to introduce a whole new generation to the magical world of talking cars and feathered hair! 🌟 #BackToThe80s #KnightRiderForever

alive, culture, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, knight, Knight Rider, know, nostalgia, number, people, pop, pop culture, rider, show, technology, today, TV, TV Show, young, young people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

0

2 months ago

doll, forehead, forehead kiss, funny request, give, great, humor, joke, kiss, little, magic, midsection, playful, request, stuffing, take, voodoo, voodoo doll
I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

0

2 months ago

addicted, breaker, breaking, following, humor, i, irony, maker, rebellious, rule, rule breaker, rule maker, rules, self-awareness
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, company, coverage, fun, fun activity, i, insurance, stolen, tent
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

0

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe
My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, conversation, escape, everyone, humor, i, interaction, jealousy, planning, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, stand, while
They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

0

2 months ago

call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

45 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

63 shares on Slack this month:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

39 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

20 shares on X this month:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Just shared via Telegram:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Breaking via WeChat:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Just landed via Twitch:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Live now on Snapchat:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

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