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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Just landed via Reddit:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Making waves on Instagram:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Just shared via Twitch:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Reported on Pinterest:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

6 months ago

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the spooky mansion of secrets, where every door you open reveals another layer of the Will & Jada enigma! It's a true rollercoaster of emotions – one minute you're in the 'Fresh Prince' room feeling nostalgic 😎, and the next you're in the 'Red Table Talk' chamber getting all the tea spilled ☕️. Who needs ghosts when you have the Smiths' drama haunting every corner? 👻🏠 #HollywoodHauntedHouse"

culture, entertainment, every, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, Jada, just, learning, pop, pop culture, relationship, room, spooky, Will

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Going viral on Snapchat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Reported on Reddit:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Breaking via Threads:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Going viral on Slack:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Making waves on Slack:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Going viral on Instagram:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

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