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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Breaking via X:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Making waves on Twitch:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Just landed via Threads:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Going bananas on Threads:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

1 month ago

Funny quote about a haunted house filled with Will & Jada trivia.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the spooky mansion of secrets, where every door you open reveals another layer of the Will & Jada enigma! It's a true rollercoaster of emotions – one minute you're in the 'Fresh Prince' room feeling nostalgic 😎, and the next you're in the 'Red Table Talk' chamber getting all the tea spilled ☕️. Who needs ghosts when you have the Smiths' drama haunting every corner? 👻🏠 #HollywoodHauntedHouse"

culture, entertainment, every, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, Jada, just, learning, pop, pop culture, relationship, room, spooky, Will

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on X this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

40 shares on X this month:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

28 shares on X this month:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

18 shares on Discord this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Trending via WhatsApp:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Going viral on YouTube:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Live now on Instagram:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Trending via X:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Just shared via YouTube:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Trending via Slack:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Seen just now on Discord:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Spotted on Slack:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

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