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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Broadcasted on X:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Breaking via Twitch:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Trending via YouTube:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Trending via Reddit:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Making waves on Reddit:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

A Monday every week is excessive.

2 months ago

A Monday every week is excessive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever decided we needed a Monday EVERY week must've been really excited about variety… or just really disliked weekends 🙄. Maybe we can petition for every other Monday, like a subscription box but for weekdays 👀📦 #MondayMadness"

every, excessive, humor, Monday, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

2 months ago

adulthood, best, buying, dinner, friend, house, humor, i, lifestyle, marriage, married, popcorn, priorities
Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

2 months ago

accidentally, best, bottle, humor, invention, meds, mix, packing, trail, trail mix, trip
I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

2 months ago

eat, exam, humor, i, means, paper, pass, pretty, school, soon, student, test
I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

2 months ago

behavior, humor, ID, liking, liking post, me, media, own, post, privacy, self-love, social, social media, social media behavior, watch
My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

4 months ago

depends, different, five, font, fonts, got, handwriting, mood, pen, style, using, writing, writing style
I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

2 months ago

bad, bad girl, confidence, everything, girl, humor, i, joke, relationship, self-deprecation, well, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

32 shares on Slack this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Shared recently on Reddit:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Breaking via YouTube:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Going bananas on Slack:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Seen just now on Instagram:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Making waves on Telegram:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

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