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Commentary:
"Those daring actors from the old black and white movies were truly living life on the edge…literally! 🚦😂 Who needs color vision when you've got nerves of steel behind the wheel? 🎥🚗 #VintageThrills"

able, actors, black, black and white, danger, driving, film, film history, green, history, humor, light, movy, red, tell, traffic, traffic light, white

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

0

16 hours ago

2017, delayed, delayed delivery, delivery, Etsy, humor, i, online, online shopping, patience, purchase, shipping, shopping, thing
Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

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2 months ago

blame, half, humor, illness, irony, mental, mental illness, mentally, perspective, world
Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

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4 weeks ago

after, artist, bartender, city, concert, flirt, humor, interaction, liked, most, show, social, social interaction, thinking
Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, listen, man, memory, never, relationship, remember, rule, something, woman
Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

0

2 months ago

cake, checking, client, court, defense, honor, humor, misunderstanding, stab, trial, trying, victim
Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

0

5 months ago

annoyance, doing, humor, life, need, people, relationships, sarcasm, sometimes, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

30 shares on Slack this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Just landed via Telegram:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Trending via WeChat:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Just shared via Threads:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Just landed via Instagram:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

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Activity Log ✨

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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