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Commentary:
"Men taking the pill? Now that's what you call a true 'bulletproof' plan! 🚫💊😂 Who knew unloading the gun could be the ultimate form of contraception! 🔫😏 #SafeAndSound"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

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2 months ago

attitude, card, cards, game, got, hand, hidden, humor, humor quote, luck, metaphor, play, skill, strategy
Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

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2 months ago

Christmas, giving, good, holiday, humor, joke, resignation, sarcasm, season
80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

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2 months ago

age, anything, comment, comment section, dark, dark humor, dead, death, full, future, humor, humor quote, internet, mortality, people, sarcasm, section, time, want
I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

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2 months ago

5, day, exaggeration, having, humor, life, life struggle, long time, rough, rough day, sarcasm, struggle, time
Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

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2 months ago

afterlife, app, digital, download, entry, gates, heaven, humor, imagine, irony, technology
Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

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1 month ago

body, body hair, case, grooming, hair, humor, just, media, post, preparation, shaved, shaving, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

22 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

100 shares on Threads this month:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Breaking via Instagram:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Spotted on X:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨