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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

74 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,343

Funny Quotes Topics

17,462

Funny Quotes Images

15,343

Jan 2, 2026

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Shared recently on Slack:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Spotted on Instagram:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Just landed via TikTok:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

2 months ago

0

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's ready to trade in their team player jersey for a lone wolf outfit! 🐺Who knew a team meeting could have such powerful anti-team building effects? 😅 Just remember, teamwork makes the dream work…or at least that's what they say! #TeamMeetingBlues

frustration, hour, humor, meeting, motivation, player, sarcasm, team, team meeting, team player, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

0

2 months ago

always, anywhere, bin, chores, confusion, even, everyday, everyday life, full, going, hell, humor, irony, laundry, life, why
When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

0

2 months ago

animals, biblical, humor, i, Noah, perspective, realize, wisdom, world
I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

0

2 months ago

cape, humor, lazy, procrastination, relaxation, super, today
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

0

2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

0

2 months ago

anonymity, band, costume, favorite, humor, joke, mask, member, music, Slipknot
Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

0

4 months ago

choose, communication, humor, i, just, meeting, meetings, podcast, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

42 shares on Discord this month:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

74 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,343

Funny Quotes Topics

17,462

Funny Quotes Images

15,343

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Making waves on Twitch:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Breaking via Threads:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Going bananas on X:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Going viral on Twitch:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

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