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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Iโ€™m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and Iโ€™m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on YouTube:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I could be in two places at once, Iโ€™d be in bed twice.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One day youโ€™re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One thing that could really โ€œlevel-upโ€ the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Just landed via WeChat:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Spotted on Telegram:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

All quiet on the frontal lobe.
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Commentary:
Looks like my brain is on vacation mode ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ–๏ธ Silence is golden, right? ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone elseโ€™s story.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesnโ€™t want them to see this mess.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

People are always saying โ€œnot today, Satanโ€ but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

If you think Iโ€™m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

Whatโ€™s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Just landed via WeChat:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to middle age. โ€œI carried a watermelonโ€ has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Just shared via TikTok:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Breaking via WeChat:

If you arenโ€™t sleeping with me, then youโ€™re sleeping against me.

Spotted on Threads:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

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