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Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

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I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

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In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

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Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

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My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

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I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

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If snails are so slow, why donโ€™t we ever see them coming? Itโ€™s just BAM, thereโ€™s a snail.

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I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

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I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

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I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

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All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Clever humorous text about brain activity, playing on a war metaphor.

Commentary:
Looks like my brain is on vacation mode ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ–๏ธ Silence is golden, right? ๐Ÿ˜‚



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