Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.
  • A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.
  • Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.
  • If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.
  • The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.
  • Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.