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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Breaking via Slack:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Making waves on YouTube:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Seen just now on TikTok:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Trending via Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Live now on Pinterest:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to read a menu at a dimly lit restaurant, or just getting an eye exam? 🕶️🔦 Talk about a fine line between ordering pasta and checking your vision! Who knew squinting could become a gourmet experience 🍝😂 #EyeStrainMenuGain"

awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

87 shares on Discord this month:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Seen just now on WeChat:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Breaking via Reddit:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Spotted on Telegram:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Making waves on X:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

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