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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Just shared via WeChat:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Making waves on Reddit:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Live now on YouTube:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Trending via Telegram:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Playful quote about childhood mischief turning into squirrel-approved sneaking drinks.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the circle of life: from rebels with a cause to friends with fur 😂🍺 Embrace the evolution of your park drinking partners – just don't forget to share the snacks with the squirrels! 🌳🐿️ #ForeverYoungAtHeart

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

33 shares on X this month:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Just shared via WeChat:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Just shared via Slack:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Going viral on Reddit:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Going viral on Slack:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Live now on Pinterest:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

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