Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

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The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

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You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

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Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

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A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

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My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

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Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

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It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

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“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

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Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

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So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.