Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Going viral on Slack:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Spotted on Twitch:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Breaking via Twitch:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Seen just now on WeChat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Going viral on Slack:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Already planning my roadmap to the couch with snacks in hand! 🚀🍿😅

2025, babe, deadline, humor, ok, planning, pressure, q4, relationship, roadmap, work, work pressure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop
If I were you, I would rather be me.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, i, identity, me, perspective, self, wit
If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

0

2 months ago

animals, comparison, humor, husband, jurassic, Jurassic Park, listen, need, night, park, sleep, snore, sound
I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted
Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

0

2 months ago

alien, alien invasion, apocalypse, before, climate, crisis, die, disaster, end, end of world, extraterrestrial, global, global climate crisis, humor, invasion, irony, little, nuclear, nuclear war, sci-fi, survival, treat, war, world
Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

0

5 months ago

humor, name, picked, sneeze, sounds, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

22 shares on Slack this month:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Making waves on Messenger:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Live now on Snapchat:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Seen just now on Discord:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Trending via Messenger:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Just landed via Pinterest:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Going bananas on TikTok:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

If I were you, I would rather be me.

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨