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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

12 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Reported on TikTok:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Trending via Facebook:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Just shared via Reddit:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Live now on Twitch:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Going viral on Discord:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

5 months ago

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
📰🛍️ "Breaking News: Local woman baffles wallets and dazzles delivery men with yet another mind-boggling unnecessary online purchase! 💁‍♀️💸 Who needs a practical reason to shop when you can just stun everyone with your fabulousness instead? Stay tuned for more updates on this fashionable and financially fearless phenomenon!"

breaking, humor, local, new, news, online, online purchase, purchase, shopping, surprise, unnecessary, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

12 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Reported on YouTube:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Making waves on Telegram:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Making waves on Discord:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Live now on Slack:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Spotted on Instagram:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

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