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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Live now on Facebook:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Going viral on Pinterest:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Spotted on Telegram:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Can’t, holding a grudge.

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Can’t, holding a grudge.
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Commentary:
"Sorry, can't go to the 'Forgiveness Workshop'… too busy holding a grudge 😏🙅‍♂️ #GrudgeLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

72 shares on Threads this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

79 shares on Discord this month:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

83 shares on Slack this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Trending via Facebook:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Broadcasted on X:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Just landed via Reddit:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Trending via Discord:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Trending via TikTok:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Spotted on WeChat:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

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