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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Sorry Iโ€™m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Are you even a parent if youโ€™ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Making waves on TikTok:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Seen just now on Slack:

Donโ€™t cry because itโ€™s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Spotted on X:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Breaking via Instagram:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Just landed via WeChat:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Playful and witty text about confusing your doctor with rubber gloves.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Want to make your doctor break out in a cold sweat? Put on rubber gloves the next time you're at your checkup ๐Ÿงค๐Ÿ˜‚ Just imagine the look on their face as they try to figure out if it's a secret signal for an impromptu surgical procedure!"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Social Media Stars โญ

44 shares on TikTok this month:

โ€œAre you dating anyone?โ€ I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Silk is a crazy material. โ€œI like your shirt,โ€ thanks. It came out of a bug.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Why do my kids have Veteranโ€™s Day off, they havenโ€™t done shit.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Eatั–ng ั–n bed ั–s much better. Everythั–ngโ€™s a napkั–n.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The world needs to chill out. Thereโ€™s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, thatโ€™s an interesting thought, hereโ€™s six billion more.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I need a break from me.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, Iโ€™ve got too many windows open.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say โ€œguess where I amโ€. The library?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Ruined a Ferrari guyโ€™s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I noticed you havenโ€™t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Spotted on Telegram:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Spotted on X:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back โ€œthanks so muchโ€.

Making waves on X:

Bought a house plant so I wouldnโ€™t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Just shared via X:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Trending via Twitch:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nothing bad can happen while youโ€™re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Uh oh, said somethinโ€™ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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