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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

44 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Trending via Pinterest:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Going viral on Facebook:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Going viral on WeChat:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Shared recently on X:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Spotted on Reddit:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Reported on WeChat:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

5 months ago

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least someone is keeping their cool in the chaos! 🐒🔥 Politics these days feel like a hilarious yet slightly terrifying circus act, with the monkey being the unexpected voice of reason. Let's hope they have some extra bananas to share with the rest of the performers! 🍌🤡 #PoliticsGoneWild

chaos, circus, current, entertainment, fine, fire, humor, monkey, politics, satire, state

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

44 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Going viral on Telegram:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Reported on Facebook:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Reported on Reddit:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just shared via WeChat:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

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