Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on the slow-burn romance program! 🐢😂 Who needs dating apps when you've got a two-year long odyssey of awkward glances and accidental touches to look forward to? 🙈💘 #TakingItSlowAndSteady"

apps, charged, consider, dating, even, falling, friendship, humor, i, least, love, me, need, never, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, weird, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Trending via Reddit:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Spotted on YouTube:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Just landed via X:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Trending via TikTok:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Breaking via YouTube:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Keep the laugh going 😂

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨