Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on the slow-burn romance program! 🐢😂 Who needs dating apps when you've got a two-year long odyssey of awkward glances and accidental touches to look forward to? 🙈💘 #TakingItSlowAndSteady"

apps, charged, consider, dating, even, falling, friendship, humor, i, least, love, me, need, never, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, weird, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

88 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

22 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

14 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Live now on TikTok:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Just shared via Messenger:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Just shared via YouTube:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Trending via Reddit:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Spotted on TikTok:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Live now on Reddit:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨