Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

50 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Making waves on Slack:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Spotted on TikTok:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Trending via Facebook:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Just shared via Threads:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Going viral on Instagram:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Just shared via Reddit:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

6 months ago

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, poor Mercury, always catching the blame for retrograde! 🪐 Next time, let's check in with the cosmic bodies before casting our astrological frustrations. Maybe Mercury just needs a hug and some retrograde appreciation! 🌌 #CosmicConsiderations

ask, astrology, being, ever, feelings, humor, Mercury, only, perspective, reflection, retrograde, self-centered, stop, think, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

50 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Just shared via X:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Making waves on X:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Making waves on Threads:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Just landed via Threads:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

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