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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Trending via Slack:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Trending via Threads:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Just shared via WeChat:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Just shared via Instagram:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

2 months ago

0

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic resistance training dilemma! 💪🏋️‍♂️ Who knew that avoiding the #gymlife could actually be a workout strategy in disguise? 🤔 Maybe we're onto something revolutionary here…or maybe just onto the couch. 🛋️😆"

count, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, procrastination, resistance, training, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

0

2 months ago

balance, extrovert, humor, introvert, naturally, nature, personality, social
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

0

6 months ago

cleaning, closet, discovery, distraction, found, humor, i, looking, organise, procrastination, tidying, tidying up
If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

0

2 months ago

again, calory, exercise, fitness, humor, ID, irony, need, never, overthinking, self-deprecation
Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

0

2 months ago

believe, celebration, disappointment, frustration, happy, humor, late, late night, new, new year, night, party, shit, year
Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

0

3 months ago

bro, conversation, finance, finance bro, humor, money, print, print money, ragebait, start, why
Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, doing, even, hair, humor, ingrown, question, self-reflection

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Trending via X:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Freshly posted on Discord:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Seen just now on X:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Making waves on YouTube:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Trending via WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Just shared via TikTok:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

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