Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Jan 12, 2026

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Seen just now on Slack:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Just landed via Messenger:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Making waves on YouTube:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Going viral on Threads:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Trending via Discord:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Just shared via Instagram:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

3 months ago

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic resistance training dilemma! 💪🏋️‍♂️ Who knew that avoiding the #gymlife could actually be a workout strategy in disguise? 🤔 Maybe we're onto something revolutionary here…or maybe just onto the couch. 🛋️😆"

count, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, procrastination, resistance, training, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

2 months ago

expectations, humor, i, instruction, non-parent, obedience, obey, parenting, something, toddler, want
I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

2 months ago

absolutely, age, comfort, convenience, extra, i, little, maturity, okay, paying, payment, spending, understand, where
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

2 weeks ago

chores, cleaning, coming, hour, house, humor, i, just, less, maid, me, motivation, need, once, panic-cleaning, procrastination, someone, tell, visit, visitor, week
Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

1 week ago

app, convenience, dating, dating app, humor, nearby, people, printer, sharing, technology, Tinder
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

2 months ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

2 months ago

food, grandmother, guys, humor, joke, meatball, only, recipe, relationship, thing, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

87 shares on X this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Making waves on Discord:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

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