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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Making waves on Instagram:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Trending via Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Just landed via X:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Just landed via Snapchat:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Just landed via Telegram:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Just landed via TikTok:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

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Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.
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Commentary:
It's all fun and games until the dogs start bluffing with their tails 😄🐾🃏 Who knew our furry pals were secretly planning their next poker night?! Someone better keep an eye on those sneaky canines before they start dealing out ruff hands! 🐶🎲 #PokerPaws #DoggyDealings

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

93 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Seen just now on YouTube:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Trending via Pinterest:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Spotted on Threads:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Making waves on X:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

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