Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Going viral on Discord:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Going viral on Reddit:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Seen just now on Threads:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Just shared via Twitch:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Making waves on Discord:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember your roots – that's where you parked your ride! 🚗😄 Don't wander too far, or you might end up taking the bus home. 🚌😂"

came, came from, car, context, ever, forget, humor, joke, left, memory, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

5 months ago

best, better, circle, comparison, doing, food, humor, i, knows, life, me, pizza, rat, routine, social, social circle, sometimes, Subway, subway rat, think, urban, urban life, where
Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

1 month ago

ask, call, communication, humor, husband, let, me, overuse, phone, phone call, phrase, relationship, said, wait
The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

2 months ago

80s, after, bands, cat, cats, decade, hearing, humor, man, music, naming, nostalgia, predator, problem, problems, wild
When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

2 months ago

call, cat, Catthew, full, full name, humor, i, name, pet, trouble
Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

3 months ago

asking, card, confusion, customer, customers, humor, me, payment, say, shit
If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

5 months ago

attitude, back, demon, ever, humor, ID, just, me, possessed, possession, problem, sarcasm, say, sit, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

13 shares on X this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Spotted on Discord:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Trending via Threads:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Going bananas on Slack:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Going viral on Twitch:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Live now on Facebook:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Going viral on YouTube:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨