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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Breaking via Messenger:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Just landed via Threads:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Just landed via Instagram:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Just shared via Messenger:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

2 months ago

0

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ahoy, matey! 🏴‍☠️ Who needs to sail the keto seas when you can join the pirate crew on a diet of rum, fish, and beef jerky? 🍖🐟 Swashbuckle your way to a healthier lifestyle, and remember, a pirate's life is always full of adventure (and tasty snacks)! ⚓️🌊 #PirateDietGoals

adventure, beef, beef jerky, diet, fish, food, humor, jerky, keto, lifestyle, pirate, rum

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

0

2 months ago

courtroom, fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, go own way, honor, humor, i, independence, joke, mac, music, own, said
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

0

5 months ago

couple, humor, irony, love, married, need, ones, people, relationship, single
Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating struggle, dynamics, humor, just, observation, relationship, single, social, social dynamics, someone, struggle, understanding, wondering
Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

0

4 months ago

buy, cake, celebration, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, purchase, reason, remember, special, treat
Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, channel, creature, creatures, deserve, donut, donuts, food, food humor, humor, nature, nature channel, own, playful, sweets, week, whimsical
I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

0

2 months ago

celebration, eve, holiday, humor, joke, midnight, new, new year, past, resolution, staying, staying up, time, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Going viral on Discord:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Just landed via Instagram:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Trending via Messenger:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Going viral on Discord:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

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