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Ahoy, matey! 🏴‍☠️ Who needs to sail the keto seas when you can join the pirate crew on a diet of rum, fish, and beef jerky? 🍖🐟 Swashbuckle your way to a healthier lifestyle, and remember, a pirate's life is always full of adventure (and tasty snacks)! ⚓️🌊 #PirateDietGoals

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

5 days ago
budget, finance, humor, i, money, monthly, monthly budget, personal, personal finance, sarcasm, tight, tight budget, whisper
Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

1 month ago
AI, birthday, birthday wish, ChatGPT, copy, dating, expectations, girls, guys, handwritten, handwritten letter, humor, letter, letters, technology, wish, wishes
Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

1 month ago
apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware
Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

1 month ago
best, best moment, bra, comfort, day, honesty, humor, moment, relaxation, take
I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

1 month ago
actually, awareness, going, humor, i, know, knowledge, people, preference
Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

5 months ago
age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Trending via Threads:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Spotted on Messenger:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Trending via Instagram:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Just landed via Discord:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

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Activity Log ✨

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

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Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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