Trendy Funny Quotes

  • What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?
  • When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
  • My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.
  • One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.
  • If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.
  • I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.