Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Just landed via Reddit:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs followers when you can just annoy bots until they throw in the towel and hit the digital road? 🤖👋 #BotBusting"

away, bot, digital, digital life, follower, frustrating, frustrating bot, funny perspective, humor, interaction, life, losing, losing follower, media, online, online interaction, perspective, point, social, social media, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

0

2 months ago

activity, cards, date, fanny, fanny pack, fashion, fun, fun activity, matching, pack, packs, play, relationship, right, summer
High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

0

3 months ago

awkward, catch, crazy, crush, glimpse, hell, high, high school, i, just, love, memory, over, running, school, teenager, why
Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

0

2 months ago

diet, ever, finance, food, humor, i, money, satire, spending, spent, toilet, waste
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

0

5 months ago

anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity
Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

0

2 months ago

channel, communication, feel, frustration, humor, i, nostalgia, people, remember, smack, technology, too, TV
Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, diet, fat, humor, okay, positivity, self-acceptance, update, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Instagram this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

19 shares on Discord this month:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Just landed via Threads:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Trending via Threads:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Just shared via YouTube:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Just landed via Threads:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨