Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,078

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Shared recently on Threads:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Going viral on Instagram:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Going viral on YouTube:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Trending via Instagram:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Making waves on Telegram:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Drinking at home: where the only bartender judging you is your cat 🐱💸 #fiftybuckslighter"

convenience, drinking, experience, feeling, fun, home, money, night, night out, nothing, pub, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad day, day, disappointment, great, here, humor, liking, sports, team, worse
Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, deadlines, exaggeration, humor, pressure, pressure washing, regular, regular washing, stress, tight, washing, work, work stress, yelling
Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, back, being, humor, important, life, me, offline, online, time
If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

0

5 months ago

ambassador, boring, brand, humor, insult, sarcasm
In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

1

4 months ago

button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone
It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

0

2 months ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

13 shares on Slack this month:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Trending via Discord:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Shared recently on Twitch:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Live now on X:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Making waves on Facebook:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨