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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Making waves on X:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Making waves on Discord:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Broadcasted on Slack:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Breaking via Facebook:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

1 hour ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about the ease of drinking at home versus pub adventures, with a witty twist.

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Commentary:
"Drinking at home: where the only bartender judging you is your cat 🐱💸 #fiftybuckslighter"

convenience, drinking, experience, feeling, fun, home, money, night, night out, nothing, pub, sure

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78 shares on Reddit this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

97 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

24 shares on Threads this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Making waves on Discord:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Making waves on TikTok:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Going bananas on Threads:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Trending via Discord:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Live now on TikTok:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨