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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The future is buffering.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Breaking via WeChat:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Going viral on Twitch:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Eating in bed is truly the ultimate experience! No need to worry about spills when everything is a napkin 🍴🛏️ #LazyLuxury"

bed, better, comfort, eating, food, humor, laziness, napkin, relaxation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

1 month ago
calling, complaint, dog, dogs, glizzy, hate, hot, hot dog, humor, i, know, language, need, people, slang, stop
Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

4 weeks ago
apple, apples, bad, blueberry, delicious, disgusting, Doritos, every, food, food humor, fruit, great, humor, inconsistency, know, problem, same, snack, sometimes, taste, time
You should be able to call in sad to work.

1 month ago
able, call, excuses, humor, sad, should, work, workplace
My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

4 weeks ago
care, chew, dental, dental care, dental plan, guess, humor, i, joke, just, mouth, plan, side
*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

2 months ago
dark, dark humor, death, erase, erase existence, existence, fake, fake death, Google, humor, Monday, morning, online, online search, own, procrastination, search
The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

1 month ago
adult, adult humor, cheeky, humor, joke, nerf, nerve, nerve sensitivity, sensitivity, sex, sex joke, sexuality, wit

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Just shared via WeChat:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Going viral on Twitch:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

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Activity Log ✨

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

You should be able to call in sad to work.

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

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Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

You should be able to call in sad to work.

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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