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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Elsa took "cold feet" to a whole new level! ❄️😂 #FrozenFeels

avoidance, dealing, Elsa, feelings, freeze, frozen, humor, i, kingdom, level, respect

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

1 month ago
best, best part, chat, communication, friendship, getting, group, group chat, humor, later, leaving, media, online, online communication, social, social media, weeks
A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

1 month ago
dad, funny situation, humor, lineup, police, recognition, situation, sneeze
Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

1 month ago
activity, bike, couple, dynamics, every, experience, figure, fun, fun activity, funny observation, humor, i, observation, pissed, relationship, relationship dynamics, riding, shared, shared experience, tandem, tandem bike, time, try
Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

1 month ago
adventure, friendship, good, humor, irony, journey, me, places, stick, still
I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

1 month ago
daily, daily life, distraction, doing, enjoy, exercise, forgetfulness, humor, i, life, memory, remember, stairs, trying, walk, walks
Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

1 month ago
bedtime, celebrate, celebration, course, dark, happy, outside, parents, return, yes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Going viral on X:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Live now on X:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

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Activity Log ✨

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

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Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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