Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Commentary:
“Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the audacity of a day starting without a red carpet! 🙄 Clearly, the paparazzi missed the memo! Better luck tomorrow, superstar! ⭐️📸 #AListProblems”

  • Another fine day ruined by waking up.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone hit the snooze button on life 😴☀️ Don’t worry, maybe tomorrow will actually be a fine day… or not! 😉 #MorningsAreHard

  • Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

    Commentary:
    “Home: the only place where you can rock that messy bun and pajamas all day, every day, without a single care in the world 🏠💁‍♀️ Who needs makeup when you have comfort and peace? 😂 #HomeSweetHome”

  • I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

    Commentary:
    Well, it’s all about the half-naked life, isn’t it? 🦆 Who knew that the biggest obstacle to becoming a cartoon duck would be pants? 🩳 Just imagine Donald Duck strutting around commando style – now that would be a quacktastic sight! 😂 This quote really quacks me up!

  • If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

    Commentary:
    “Hydration: the ultimate balancing act between feeling like a well-moisturized plant and having a bladder that’s more demanding than a diva on a bad day 🚰😡💦 #HydrationIssues”

  • Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

    Commentary:
    Well, who knew we were all just a bunch of ingredients getting pounded into a tasty paste? 🤣🌿 Next time someone calls you “extra”, just tell them you’re just trying to live your best pesto life! #PoundingToSuccess