Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Just shared via WeChat:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Trending via Messenger:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Trending via WhatsApp:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Just landed via Pinterest:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Spotted on X:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife"

follow, humor, Instagram, irony, me, media, nothing, post, social, social media, want, weeks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

0

2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

0

2 months ago

consider, exercise, fitness, humor, i, irony, jogger, running, smiling, time
An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

0

2 months ago

bad, doing, evil, evil genius, evil idiot, genius, idiot, idiots, insulting, least, position, power, rising, seeing, sense
My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

0

5 months ago

add, ever, every, flag, humor, i, iPod, just, liked, liked song, music, playlist, playlists, red, red flag, shuffle, song, songs, Spotify
That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

0

2 months ago

compliment, flirtation, humor, kind, little, playful, quirky, sexy, weird
Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

0

2 months ago

cooperation, funny observation, having, insist, ironic, irony, language, observation, own, pronunciation, sounds, vowel, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

48 shares on X this month:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

84 shares on Slack this month:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

75 shares on X this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Shared recently on Slack:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Breaking via Discord:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Going viral on Discord:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Just landed via Reddit:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Just landed via Twitch:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨