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Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2451 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,613

Funny Quotes Topics

15,285

Funny Quotes Images

12,613

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Going viral on Discord:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Live now on Messenger:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Just landed via Telegram:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Spreading quickly via X:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Just landed via YouTube:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Trending via TikTok:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Making waves on TikTok:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Jan 20, 2025

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Reported on WhatsApp:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Seen just now on YouTube:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Trending via WeChat:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Going viral on WeChat:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

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Activity Log ✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

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