Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Trending via Snapchat:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Making waves on Threads:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Live now on X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dressing up as a functional adult this Halloween… scariest costume ever! 🎃👻😅

Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

0

2 months ago

every, existential, goals, humor, i, identity, just, life, life goals, middle-aged, nostalgia, person, remember, want, wanted
Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

0

2 months ago

1, 2, beverage, create, dairy, forbidden, humor, joke, milk, mixing, playful, pun, quirky
People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

0

3 months ago

ask, class, eyes, humor, insane, money, people, privilege, question, ski, social, social class, something
Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

0

3 months ago

care, else, getting, hair, hair salon, hair wash, joy, personal, personal care, pleasure, relaxation, salon, self-care, simple, simple pleasure, someone, wash
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

1 month ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why
I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

0

6 months ago

atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

69 but we both just farting.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

15 shares on Threads this month:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Making waves on Discord:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Just landed via YouTube:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Spotted on Reddit:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Spotted on Telegram:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Live now on Messenger:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨